Mar 10 Reblogged

Asexual Research Reading Group Proposal:


Link to original post here: http://nextstepcake.wordpress.com/2013/03/09/asexual-research-reading-group-proposal/)

In a recent tumblr discussion this week, the idea was brought up of having some kind or reading group for aces (and others!) interested in discussing asexual research and other issues about asexuality in academia; I hope to continue the discussion here and get something started.

My current thoughts on a possible format would be something like this:

Each week, we read a new article, with someone perhaps making a detailed summary available to those who cannot access the original article or finding another way to get everyone access.

Next, we have some sort of a skype or other chat group to discuss; ideally we set up a defined period (~1 hours) when as many as possible can make it for a formal discussion of that week’s article. (although the group would remain open at other times as well if anyone wants to talk about anything else. Times will probably be chosen by doodle poll; if time zones become an issue, we could split up into multiple groups if needed)

After that has concluded, we post a transcript of the skype group (s), links to the paper (and summary if already available) on a static page, where asynchronous discussion can take place (proposals include Asexual Agenda, if they’re cool with it, or failing that I can host here).

Another idea is for a volunteer (probably whoever chose that weeks article) to write up a summary of the article and some of the main points to make available for a more casual audience, if no summary exists.

Also, a question for those interested:

1. Is skype an acceptable format for everyone for the initial real-time discussion? If not, what other platform do you suggest?

Also, if you have any other questions, comments, or suggestions – or just want to say you might be interested – feel free to leave a comment on the original post here:

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**PLEASE keep all responses on the original page; that’s what it’s for! It’s much easier to see all opinions when they’re together in one place. Thanks!**

Link here: http://nextstepcake.wordpress.com/2013/03/09/asexual-research-reading-group-proposal/

Feb 06 Reblogged

Asexuality book—gathering test audience


Hey guys.

I’ve written a book about asexuality and I’m looking to pursue traditional publication for it. (This means not publishing it myself, getting a publisher to buy it/market it, and using mainstream channels to get it into the bookstores.) I think having a mainstream nonfiction book about asexuality in the lifestyles section for people to find when they search for it will help contribute to the message that asexuality is legitimate and real—both for asexual people themselves to find and for more traditional/more old-fashioned loved ones of asexual people (most notably but not limited to parents of asexual people).

I would like to have some test readers. Nonfiction books are often bought based on the premise/outline/proposal, after which the content is submitted and tweaked with input from the publisher, but I would like to have a solid working draft in case anyone wants to see it. I have already received interest from a publisher and an agent, but I think I need to pursue more options and I want to feel confident that the message is clear and that all audiences can understand it.

If you would like to be a test audience member, I will send you sections of the book chapter by chapter and you can keep offering feedback as long as you are interested (or until you read it all!). It’s relatively short (about 40,000 words) and I intend it to be a somewhat comprehensive *introduction*—not a huge amount of beyond 101 stuff, but at least enough to hint that it’s out there.

Potential test audience members can e-mail me at ivy@swankivy.com and I will discuss this with you privately, or send me an ask if you have a question. (Please don’t just reblog and volunteer in the comments—I’d like to negotiate and discuss privately off Tumblr if possible.) I will not be posting the content of the book anywhere on the Internet, but I will share updates on my progress.

I am looking for test audience members who are asexual AND audience members anywhere on the ace spectrum AND non-asexual people, because this IS for all audiences. I need comments on the content, comments on *missing* content (i.e., if I didn’t cover something and you think I should, tell me), and comments on the writing itself (I shouldn’t need much help with grammar/spelling/punctuation, though; I’m an editor).

Thanks in advance to those who volunteer. If you do not want to but know someone who might, feel free to tell them or spread this request around.

Oct 07 Reblogged

Asexuality Questionnaire, Round 5: Relationships



This week’s questionnaire topic:  Relationships.

Have you ever been in love?  Has asexuality ever caused problems in a relationship?  Do you notice people flirting with you?  Are you confused about what your romantic orientation even is?

All those and more!

It’s in three parts, so be sure to answer them all! Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

(If you’re unfamiliar with the Asexuality Archive questionnaire project, please stop by the masterpost first, to get an idea of what I’m doing and how your responses may be used. All the previous questionnaires are still available, if you’d like to answer them, too.)

Also, I apologize for the delay in getting this installment out.  I went on a two week roadtrip around the Rocks and Ruins of the Four Corners and was unable to work on these questionnaires because I was too busy watching the sun rise.  (I did have an ace flag bumper sticker on my car and an ace flag pin on my 3D camera lanyard, though.)

The asexuality questionnaire is back! The questions focus a lot on romantic orientation and past experiences with relationships. I would have liked to see more questions about alternate relationship types (such as queerplatonic relationships), and noted this in my response to the “Is there anything else you’d like to add” question.

As I’ve discussed before, I feel like I don’t really understand what romantic attraction is, but none of it ever matches anything I’ve experienced so I consider myself aromantic rather than wtfromantic. I wrote about that in several of my responses, and I thought these questions were interesting.

Sep 15 Reblogged

Atlanta Aces?


In January, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force is having their annual conference in Atlanta. For the last few years, David and I have submitted workshop proposals together; last year we were accepted to the conference and presented the film (A)sexual.

This year we’re trying to put together a panel discussion for the conference. We’re looking for a diverse panel of people from across the asexual, romantic, and gender spectrums, to really highlight how our community has so many different viewpoints. We want to include grey-a, demi, aromantic, and trans* voices. We’re talking about people traveling from out of town and maybe fundraising to do that, but if local aces wanted to speak we’d want to give priority to them first. Is there anyone here in that area who might be interested in being a panelist?

(Source: sarabethbrooks)

Sep 12

Wow I am so sorry about the accidental reblogs from my personal blog yesterday/this morning! I had absolutely no idea they were coming over here—I thought tumblr was just eating them :/ Sorry!

Jul 11 Reblogged

Sacramento Ace Meetup



Howdy howdy, Sacramento’s fledgling ace meetup group is getting together again this week! Naked Lounge at Q & 15th, Friday night 7/13, 6pm-8pm. :) If you’re nearby, don’t miss it!

Signal boosting for any Sacramento-area followers!

(Source: sarabethbrooks)

Jul 10 Reblogged

Being asexual instead of sexual is like being left-handed instead of right-handed. It’s not the way most people are, but it is no better or worse than being anything else. In a classroom with movable one-arm desks, a right-handed person can sit anywhere; a left-handed person can either sit in discomfort at a desk made for the right-handed or locate a left-handed desk and be as comfortable as everyone else. It takes a little more effort for the left-handed person to fit in, but that is because culture is dominated by the right-handed, not because a left-handed person is biologically inferior.
— (via aimmyarrowshigh)

Jul 09 Reblogged






So we had a very good time. There were far more people there than I have pictures of, David Jay was around and being both used to this sort of thing and American tried to star off chants and dis more than a bit dancing in the streets.

We handed out LOTS of leaflets, the first side ou can see above and the second side looked like this. We had 10,000 of them and though we didn’t hand all of them out, you were hard find to find someone who didn’t have a leaflet by the time you got there trying to hand out your pile. Even though not all of them will have read them enough will that I think we’ve done a lot of visibility work there. Heck, one of the people who saw us and read a leaflet and talked to one of our group came to the conference the day after. 

We all had T-Shirts, well, not all of us. Some wore their own and Ninny came dressed up and fantastically showing the rest of us as per usual (second picture). We were handing out condoms and dental dams. Plenty didn’t know what those were though of those who did seemed surprised to see them and more than happy to take some.

Then there was the conference the day after which went really well. Predictably enough things ran late a bit, we started late to begin with but other than that it was fantastic. Some of the people there would already be familiar with some of what was talked about but plenty wouldn’t be. We had people in from Colombia (she’s in the fourth picture), Israel, Italy, America and even more in the crowd. People who knew about this from AVEN and other places and had planned to come for some time, people who found about about it in the Metro or on the march. Asexual umbrella people, allies all sorts. We even had these two elderly women in their 80s, I think they were a couple and both of them were French. Most people were 20s/30s but there were people older and a few younger.

Seemed to be a more diverse affair than the parade for some reason, not sure why cause everyone was welcome to both.

Also, and you’ll like this, we made sure that people knew that we weren’t just from AVEN. I mentioned tumblr more than a few times and even David Jay seemed to be pleased that it wasn’t a monolithic thing and that the community is active outside of AVEN so. It a wasn’t a one forum show, a forum that i know plenty of people on here aren’t fond of (which was also mentioned).

There were also a few smaller work groups after the main conference to look into international work and not just between the English speaking countries, on getting representation into the media of other groups and areas and also creating our own, I was on the last. We have a tentative idea to produce two anthologies of stories, one of real stories one of fictional. Because as has been pointed out, a great way to communicate with outsiders and get them to understand is through stories. And one of the best ways to show that our stories aren’t boring (I’m looking at you Stephen Moffat) is to do it ourselves.

What comes of these groups long term, I don’t know.

But a good time seemed to be had by all. And, most importantly, there was cake!

My tanks to Michael for allowing this all to happen, and my thanks to everyone who came from abroad to speak or simply to attend. 

Also, it was great to see David Jay and Nat Titman in person though I’ll admit I didn’t know much about Nat to start with.

Awesome pictures! And I’m very excited about that tentative anthology idea…

It was pretty much decided that we need to get more of our stories across to the media to help with positive media portrayal. Someone mentioned the anthology that had the two skinny/pale/sad women holding hands on a bed and staring away and there were groans abounds.

We’re going to avoid that at all costs.  

I love the anthology idea as well!! Oh gosh- these pictures warm my heart!! And Ninny’s outfit is absolutely the most fantastic thing I’ve ever seen- everyone who went, you’re all so lucky!! <3

Jul 04 Reblogged



There we go. I’ve continued the sassy coming out ace card to extend to more orientations. These are intended as a joke, but they might actually come in handy if you’re being questioned about your orientation and you need a sassy retort. 

[Note: I’ve also edited the asexual one for optimum readability. If you are visually impaired, I would greatly appreciate your feedback on the legibility and readability of these comps. I wanna make sure everyone can enjoy my designs, not only those with good vision. So your feedback is a big help!]

Jun 26 Reblogged


Here’s a little “survey” for you to fill out for your personal use. 
I’ve seen a few of these surveys floating around for sexually adventurous people, and they talk in depth about various sex acts—which is super cool; it gives a person a way to discuss their aw yeahs and no ways with their partner. 
So, this is my asexual variation. It can obviously be used for any orientation, but I just designed it with aces in mind. Feedback is welcome—this can definitely evolve to suit the needs of people! 
[Print friendly versions available, so let me know if you need one.]


Here’s a little “survey” for you to fill out for your personal use. 

I’ve seen a few of these surveys floating around for sexually adventurous people, and they talk in depth about various sex acts—which is super cool; it gives a person a way to discuss their aw yeahs and no ways with their partner. 

So, this is my asexual variation. It can obviously be used for any orientation, but I just designed it with aces in mind. Feedback is welcome—this can definitely evolve to suit the needs of people! 

[Print friendly versions available, so let me know if you need one.]

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