53x+m³=Ø

Jun 13

Things that are rude to say in conversation with asexuals: a short primer (or, how to be a half-decent ally, compiled from a recent personal experience)

  1. Do not say you are “proud of me for experiencing sexual attraction”, especially when the conversation is about how I don’t.
  2. Do not invalidate my friend’s identity as an aromantic asexual by suggesting that something might have happened to him to make him reluctant to be in romantic relationships.  (He’s not reluctant.  He’s just wholly uninterested.)
  3. Do not, when I say I wanted someone “for his body, just not the lower half”, a) say that “that’s not how it works” or b) say I’m still talking about sexual attraction.  There is a difference between sexual and physical attraction.  Romantic attraction can also be based on appearance and/or occur at the same time as physical attraction.
  4. Do not suggest I might/will experience sexual attraction when I’m older.
  5. Do not act like you know my feelings better than I do.  I guarantee I have spent much more time analyzing my feelings and attractions than you have, because I have had to*.  It’s easy for you to basically suggest that I don’t know my own self.  It’s easy for you because you haven’t had to constantly question yourself the way that I have.  Please don’t insult me and the amount of time I’ve put into my self-realization by acting like you know me better than I do.  Because, you know what? It is insulting.  And it’s really not okay.

(* both of the people being referenced in this post are heterosexual, to be clear)

Notes

  1. iamtakien reblogged this from dancehallhell
  2. dancehallhell reblogged this from fuckyeahaces and added:
    ESPECIALLY number 4.
  3. fuckyeahqueerfemme reblogged this from fuckyeahaces
  4. raggedyanndy reblogged this from fuckyeahaces
  5. chupetaexplosiva reblogged this from fuckyeahaces
  6. lostperdue reblogged this from aliengeraniums
  7. tea-and-misanthropy reblogged this from heisenbergsays
  8. singaporesting reblogged this from fuckyeahaces
  9. optimusprimeships reblogged this from bollockscaptor
  10. striders-hot-potato reblogged this from bollockscaptor
  11. bollockscaptor reblogged this from fuckyeahaces
  12. filopodia reblogged this from ace-tastic
  13. eatpraylovefuck reblogged this from ohdeargodwhy
  14. heisenbergsays reblogged this from obsessionfull
  15. casrousel reblogged this from ohdeargodwhy and added:
    I’ve had five and six happen to me. This is annoying as hell.
  16. ohdeargodwhy reblogged this from fuckyeahaces
  17. avatarsnowy reblogged this from bloodywellstammer
  18. bloodywellstammer reblogged this from i-sauntered-vaguely-downwards
  19. i-sauntered-vaguely-downwards reblogged this from ace-tastic and added:
    Yeah seriously. Especially if you’re like some stranger I just met. Hello,. I KNOW MYSELF BETTER THAN YOU! Everything...
  20. bohemu reblogged this from fuckyeahaces
  21. obsessionfull reblogged this from fuckyeahaces
  22. fleshwoundsontongues reblogged this from homoerotics

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